/ MEDIA, MOVIES

Bad Movies of 2014

What are bad movies? I define “bad” movies as movies that made a ton of money but are in my opinion not very good. Usually a bunch of movie business executives look at these movies and say, you know what the world needs? more of this stupid stuff and then we are going to be rich.

The movies on this list are forgettable, stupid, contrived and in the next couple of years we will see even more of it.

Transformers Age of Extinction

Well usually there is not much to say about an Michael Bay Transfomers Movie, there are only 4 elements present:

  • Awesome Transforming Robots
  • Awesome Cars
  • Gigantic Explosions
  • Hot Girls

Additionally the usual Michael Bay minor racism and weak story. But nobody really expects a good story when they go and watch transformers.

So where did the movie fail if it did not even need a story?

Transforming Robots

The Trailer promised us Dinobots, they appear somewhere around 150min into the movie. Do nothing more than what was shown in the trailer and disappear. (its kindof like they are never in the movie)

The new Autobot characters are never really introduced and act like 5-year old kids.

But the oddest thing is that the decepticons, do not transform anymore they just become a pixelcloud and can do whatever they want and are now practically indestructrable. Thats like telling your audience yeah we know you are stupid, I mean you are watching this stupid movie, you wanted to see transformations, we give you pixie dust. Oh here is the dinobot in the end so you come back next time so that we can milk some more of your money.

Awesome Cars

I really don’t know what happened to the Cars, they look “futuristic” I suppose, but that new bumblebee car sure looks stupid. Oh well, not entirely the movies fault if modern cars really look like that.

Gigantic Explosions

Well ok its a Michael Bay movie, so it has some Explosions, just most of them are not really interesting or I am just spoiled from the previous movies.

Hot Girls

Well simply telling the audience she is underage does not make a girl hot, for me it actually just made it awkward. Telling me she is underage just made me think about the fact that I was reducing women to their appearances = not something I wanted to think about when watching a Transformers movie.

I mean with Megan Fox looking like a 20 something and the lingerie model in Transformers 3 it was okay. The Actress was cast to be eye candy.

Conclusion

The entire movie looks and feels like a low-quality Transformers rip-off movie. You can count on that there are going to be more Transformers movies. However the rebooted Series will be even worse then the original Series and hopefully even fewer people will go and watch the next Transformers movie but hey you know that wont’t happen.

Especially because while in the US the movie didn’t make a lot of money In China it was a massive success, making Transformers 4 the highest grossing movie of 2015 with a worldwide revenue of around 1billion . - So hurrah for more stupid low quality Transformers movies.

The Lego Movie

So the Legomovie was, in a way like Lego itself, it has various scenes(mostly explosions) and a very flimsy connecting story that is instantly forgettable.

However it raked in around 250Mio USD domestic making it the 4th highest grossing movie, and the highest grossing Animated movie  (470Mio USD worldwide,  rank 15)

The Future? Lego Movie II, has been greenlit.

Penguins of Madagascar

Frankly I did not like the entire Madagascar Trilogy - the only fun thing about it? the Penguins. The four secret service Penguins that are really awesome. The Penguins got their own small spinoff movie “The Madagascar Penguins in a Christmas Caper” and that short movie was awesome. This in turn lead to a kids series “The Penguins of Madagascar” which established an entire penguin spy universe and always hinted on something larger with grand villians etc. So I was excited to see the Penguins get their own movie.

And the movie sucked, it relied a lot on slapstick, the plot was contrived and stupid and had nothing to do with the established universe in the series. It even introduced new characters that had nothing to do with the series.

Overall it felt like a big letdown and it was not even a good movie for kids.

How to Train your Dragon 2

How to train your dragon was a very well made movie based on a book. Dreamworks continued to create short movies and a Series with two entire Seasons continuing the story.

So what is the best way to continue the story in the second movie? First ignore all the Backstory of the Series. Then ruin the best Elements of the first movie by resurrecting the mother and killing the father. Then add some Jesus imagery for Hickup.

While in the first movie the dragons were very interesting due to their personalities and it looked like the Animators took inspiration from real animals. The second movie has a lot of dragons that look interesting but are not characterized and are animated as cartoon characters.

Well and the entire plot of the movie does not make a lot of sense, so suddenly Toothless is the savior of the Dragons and Hickup the savior of the Humans. Yey, so in the next movie they will have to die for their cause.

So a bad movie, and ruins a lot of backstory from the series & short movies. Thus making this my personal worst movie of 2014.

The Future? The Third movie is in Production. So more of that stupid storyline.